Auburn...


Hysterical laughter
Louder than thunder
Broke the silence in the room…

When his gaze wondered outside the window, he noticed that he could only see the people in the building in front.
He wanted more.
He wanted to see a tree, a sea… a horizon.
He had no horizon looking out of his window.
He could see the sky, but that doesn’t thrill him anymore.
Not since he cruelly discovered that he cannot fly. He still makes flying noises flapping his hands, running across the room or jumping on the bed, but he knows that it would only hurt if he jumped out of the window again.

He heard from the warden that the woman in front has burnt her entire apartment building one night, before coming to live here.
There was no moon at all, and she wanted some light that night.
She was so provoked by the gloom of her apartment, that she’s put fire to the curtains.
Since then he knows how fascinated she is by the glaze of a flame.
He knows and he understands. After all aren’t we all willing to pay any price for a good fire when we really want one?
He wanted her. Although he never met her.
He pictures her with flowing red hair… ‘burning with desire’.
But she was very loud today.
Usually she doesn’t say much. But when she incarnates her persona, as he likes to say, she wouldn’t stop singing. A shrieking soprano that wouldn’t stop until tranquilized by some dose of morphine.
He also heard that she used to be a house wife, from aristocratic origin. That she killed her two children before setting fire to the house.
She was performing Medea today. Again.

He gazes listlessly out of the window, staring at the people in the building in front.
He feels he knows them by now. He does. He doesn’t know their names, or what they do during the day. But he knows their nighttime habits. He feels their feelings and watches their fights. He knows them.

He pictures himself in their apartments. As his apartment. With his red hair woman. Bickering over the dinner table, then pushing the dishes aside and having the most meaningless feelingless sex…

He jerked off at the window, engrossed in his reverie.