THE CIRCLE OF LIFE?


My brother: did you talk to your parents?
Me: no, not lately. Did you?
My brother: No, I’ve been trying to call them for two days but the lines are bad.
Me: (yeah, right) well, in case you talk to them, tell them that I’ve been trying to call too, but couldn’t get through either.
My brother: what? I’m not going to lie on your behalf.
Me: Oh… well, just say that I’ll call this weekend.

I’ve been trying to call Beirut for 2 hours now. No luck. Maybe my brother was right, and the lines are not so good. Are they?

And as usual I start running scenarios about why my parents are not answering, calling, or in anyway trying to make contact after two weeks of disconnection.

For a second I fear that something bad happened to them and that my brother either a) doesn’t know because he’s off to somewhere in California, or b) he knows but kept me out of the loop to ‘protect’ me from the heart breaking news. I immediately ruled out b when all the episodes that he threw on my head at one time or another flashed through my mind.
Then, I think that my parents probably gave up on us calling every week. Again, not probable, they are the most irrepressible people when it comes to their sons.

Well, maybe, they moved away, changed their names and address, and abandoned their sons and their previous life altogether… actually, come to think about it, it does sound romantic, two retirees well in their 60’s dropping off and moving to some sunny place, well, Lebanon is sunny enough, but I was thinking Turkey where they will open a pub next to the beach, he’ll work at the bar and she’ll work at the cash register… It’d be perfect. I would be happy for them. I love them so much I guess that even if they decided to move on without us, I would approve, and be happy. I don’t know about my brother though… he has more of these ‘fear of abandonment’ issues, I believe, never got over the time when they ‘lost’ him in the market place (well, in fact I don’t give him the chance to)…

Would they like to do that, my parents? I wonder.
Everyone talks about children moving away from parents, and parents trying to hold on to them. No one speaks of parents taking distance from their children (and rightfully so).
I don’t want to give the wrong impression about my family. They’ve been the best and I wouldn’t change a thing (well, maybe a thing or two but that’s beside the point).
The point is that people from my corner of the world expect parents to be conforming to a certain stereotype, especially after a certain age. Mine do but only to a certain extent. They do perform the worrying, providing and the whole bit roles with world champion’s finesse, but they also have their own world. A world that’s not accessible to their sons. A world where they are young and in love, and didn’t have children at all!
The intra-familial dynamics are not very traditional among us. There are 4 people in this family. The parents who love each other more than they love the kids. The older son who loves the younger son more than the parents do and more than he does the parents. The younger son who loves everyone equally… well because he can and because he’s the younger after all…

Ah, it’s my cell phone. ‘Mom-Beirut’ is flashing on caller ID, and Turkish March is filling the room (it figures)… My heart is 'gleeful' like a child's. After all, some things never change no matter how much we do…